There are many challenges when you are learning English (or any foreign language). One of these challenges is especially tricky: how to make requests sound polite.
What does “tricky” mean? Here is a great dictionary to use: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/learner-english/tricky
Ok. Let’s continue. It is very important in English to understand how to use language that is polite. Using polite speech varies greatly between different languages, especially if you try to translate.
Let’s look at some possible ways to express a need or desire. Let’s talk about pens. Yes, pens. A pen is a simple object, but getting a pen is a little complicated if you want to sound polite in English.
(What does “complicated” mean?
Have a look: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/learner-english/complicated)
Let’s look at some different ways to communicate the same idea. The first few examples are not very polite, but they become more polite as we continue:
Example: Give me a pen.
Ok. This is not polite speech in English for several reasons. First, it is a command. In English we use the imperative tense for this-notice that this sentence does not have a subject included. Second, it is very short and direct. Sometimes this can make spoken English sound impolite. Third, because it is a statement instead of a question, it is not a request.
Example: I need a pen.
Hmm. This example sounds a little better in English because we are not commanding or ordering someone to do something. In fact, this sentence really should be acceptable, but it is still too direct for it to sound polite in English. This is when translating can be a problem because in many languages the statement “I need a pen.” would sound ok.
Example: Can I use your pen?
Now we are starting to be in an area of language that sounds more polite. Even though “can” is not the most suitable word according to the strict rules of the English language, the word “can” is usually very acceptable to most English speakers. It is important to remember that most native speakers in English (just like native speakers in your language) use language that most other speakers accept as normal, rather than using grammar and vocabulary that language books say is correct.
Example: May I borrow the pen?
Now we are really getting polite (and even more formal). This is because we are using the verb “may” for permission. Even though “may” is technically the verb we should use for polite requests, it has come to sound a little formal (especially in American English) because so many native speakers use “can” instead. Notice that this example and the previous example are both in the form of questions instead of statements.
Example:
Would you mind if I borrow your pen?
This is another good example of making a request using polite speech. The reason is the use of the phrase “Would you mind”. First this is a commonly accepted wording for how to make requests sound polite. Second, it makes the question longer and therefore, sound less direct.
We can see that the words we choose are very important. We must also remember that the sound (or “tone”) of our voice is extremely important. Usually when the pitch of our voice sounds higher, the needs or requests that we are trying to communicate will sound more polite.
We hope this has been helpful in understanding how to make requests sound polite in English. Remember to listen for examples like these when you are practicing listening in English!